Off The Net

Here are some interesting interpretations of nature from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.

  • "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
  • "H2O is hot water, and C02 is cold water."
  • "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
  • "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
  • "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
  • "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
  • "The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
  • "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
  • "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
  • "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
  • For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
  • "For a head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."